Echoes In My Head

Yes, you.  The people who built ICC.

We have been raiding Icecrown Citadel for awhile now, and I am convinced that Blizzard design teams work in silos, and the two teams that did the Plagueworks and the Blood area are stoned out of their fucking gourds.

Icecrown Citadel starts out appropriately grim, spiky and frostbitten.  It’s some black metal shit.  I expect Norwegians in corpse paint to pop out and headbang any second.  The fucking trash is called “The Damned” and the first dude you fight is a freakishly large whirlwind of bones and blades.  You’re introduced to the Northrend equivalent of the crippled smith, who gouged out his own fucking eyes because the Lich King was an abomination and had made him do horrible things.  You’re going to go put and end to this thing.  You are going to tear down this cavernous, icy citadel with its gothic arches haunted by screams.  Sign me the fuck up.

Where the fuck was that design ethos later?  The Plagueworks are like the world’s longest fucking fart joke.  I swear it’s like they hired the guys who wrote Superbad to design that place.  The epic fight at the end includes the evil nasty guy apologizing for farting after you have killed his two misshapen Down’s having children.  You killed Stinky!  You pay!  You killed epic vibe of entry way!  I keep paying because I have no life!

It gets even fucking worse in the Blood quarter.  That might as well be called the bloodborne pathogens quarter.  If the entry way was fucking metal, this is fucking other men to the sound of throbbing disco music in Studio 54.  Metrosexual elves with anime hair bounce around in a room full of disco balls and I’m pretty fucking sure there’s more than just one queen in that room.  I sort of wonder if the blinded smith actually did it after he saw this place.

Jesus wept.